What a Thanksgiving weekend! In the
shadow (or is it an after-glow?) of the most vitriolic election in our
lifetimes, (though, evidently, not necessarily in history – c.f. the election
of Andrew Jackson in 1828), we gathered as extended families for a long holiday
weekend. I was bemused by the flurry of news articles and opinion pieces in the
lead up to Thanksgiving offering advice on how not to have knock-down, drag-out
confrontations over politics. The advice columns seemed to pinball between
“avoid talking politics at all costs” and “embrace your rage / take a victory
lap.”
There
is a middle way.
I like to call the middle way between
avoidance and open hostility playing the spirituality of respect game. What are
the rules of this game, you ask? Thank you for asking: the rules are for each
player (1) to acknowledge and honor the very best in the other’s arguments, (2)
to acknowledge and own up to the weakest parts of one’s own arguments, (3) to
seek together areas where all the players share common values, ideas and
convictions, and (4) to ask one another probing questions that help create
greater clarity and sensitivity to what is most essential for one another.
Winning the spirituality of respect game is a communal exercise; either
everyone wins or no one wins. The goal is not agreement but a deeper awareness
of God, self and other.
In the past month I have had
conversations on many subjects with a variety of Presbyterians, and the wide array
of moral complexity has been on display. For instance, to take just one high
profile subject, the Dakota pipeline, I have spoken with a pastor who was
arrested for trespassing while protesting in North Dakota; spoken with a pastor
who was prayerfully considering whether or not to go to North Dakota to join in
the protest and was exploring “both sides”; and spoken with a ruling elder who
is a retired Army Corps of Engineer employee and assured me the pipeline is
completely safe from an environmental perspective. I came away from each of
these conversation devoid of the perfect, just right, oh-now-I-get it answer,
yet also left with a deeper appreciation of the significant ethical, social and
spiritual choices present in the situation.
In this brief series of essays on our
moral responsibility to be thoughtful citizens I have shared principles from
the Mennonites, long known and respected as peacemakers, who in their document
entitled Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love
suggest ways to conduct ourselves in thought, in action and in life. I conclude
this series by sharing Mennonite wisdom about becoming peace-full congregations
in life:
In Life
1. Be steadfast in love: Be firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution; be
stubborn in holding to our common foundation in Christ; be steadfast in love.
Colossians 3:12-15
2. Be open to mediation: Be open to accept skilled help. If we cannot reach
agreement among ourselves, we will use those with gifts and training in
mediation in the larger church. Philippians 4:1-3
3. Trust the community: We will trust the community and if we cannot reach
agreement or experience reconciliation, we will turn the decision over to
others in the congregation or from the broader church. Acts 15
4. Be the Body of Christ: Believe in and rely on the solidarity of the Body of
Christ and its commitment to peace and justice, rather than resort to the
courts of law. 1 Corinthians 6:1-6
Embracing the wisdom of the Mennonites,
Brad Munroe
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